idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
