Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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