I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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