would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
