I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
