We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize