I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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