I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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