apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
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Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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