I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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