Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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