dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
