How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
