Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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