she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
