I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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