talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
