She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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