i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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