i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
