so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
false alarm. still invincible.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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