paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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