dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
