I wish my penis had an off switch
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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