I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
