That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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