She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
