I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
