I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
