They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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