people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
