her vagine was all disorganized.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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