did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
