When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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