i don't like sucking hair
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
