Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
