Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
