I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
