You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
