he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
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Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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