I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I want to be your penis for a week.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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