Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
