do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
