Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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