Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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