I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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