Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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