holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
