her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
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so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
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So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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