you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
