I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
