Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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