There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hippo gnu deer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
