she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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