Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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