How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
