Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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