shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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