Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
