Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
