If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
