so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Never underestimate the power of titties
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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