so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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