oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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